So how do you stay calm, composed and maintain self confidence in a tough environment? Here are some tips you may to consider as a starter guide to empowerment.
Imagine yourself as a Dart Board. Everything and everyone else around you may become dart pins, at one point or another. These dart pins will destroy your self confidence and pull you down in ways you often aren't even aware of. Don’t let them destroy you, or get the best of you. So which dart pins should you avoid?
Dart Pin #1 : Negative Work Environment
Beware of “dog eat dog” theory where everyone else is fighting just to get ahead. This is where non-appreciative people usually thrive. No one will appreciate your contributions even if you miss lunch and dinner, and stay up late to complete your tasks or go the extra mile. Most of the time you get to work too much without getting help from people concerned. Stay out of this environment because it will damage your self confidence. If you are in a situation like this then remember that there are other jobs out there which will not threaten your emotional stability—don't make excuses to keep your existing job.
Find a new one!
Dart Pin #2: Other People’s Behavior
Bulldozers, brown nosers, gossipmongers, whiners, backstabbers, snipers, people walking wounded, controllers, naggers, complainers, exploders, patronizers… all these kinds of people will pose bad vibes for your self confidence, as well as to your self empowerment journey. Just because a friend has been in your life forever does not necessarily mean he is a good friend. Be willing to cut ties with those people who do not
reinforce the positive life you want to live and support you in your choice to succeed.
Dart Pin #3: Resistance to Change
Changes challenge our paradigms. It tests our flexibility, adaptability and alters the way we think. Changes may make life difficult for awhile and cause stress, but it also provides opportunities to empower ourselves. There's a classic quote, “The only thing constant in life is change.” Change will happen. It's always happening. Accept change and learn to work with it, and you will succeed in everything and be happy while doing
it. Resist change, and you will find yourself unhappy.
Dart Pin #4: Projecting Your Past Experiences Onto the Present
It’s okay to cry and say “ouch!” when we experience pain. But don’t let pain transform itself into fear. It might grab you by the tail and swing you around. Treat each failure and mistake as a lesson. Just because you have been severely hurt in the past by your exes, does not mean that your current partner will devastate you too. You have the choice to look at each moment as a fresh new opportunity, so don't hold onto the past and let it jade you from seeing the greatness in life.
Dart Pin #5: Negative World View
Look at what you’re looking at. Don’t wrap yourself up with all the negativities of the world. In building self confidence, we must learn how to make the best out of worst situations while not absorbing the energy of negative situations. Try taking a break from news and TV for a couple of days and see how much extra energy you feel.
Dart Pin #6: Determination Theory
The way you are and your behavioral traits is said to be a mixed end product of your inherited genetics, and your environmental surroundings such as your spouse, the company, the economy or your circle of friends. You have your own identity. If your father is a failure, it doesn’t mean you have to be a failure too. Learn from other people’s experience, so you’ll never have to encounter the same mistakes.
Sometimes, you may want to wonder if some people are born leaders or positive thinkers. NO. Being positive, and staying positive is a choice. Building self
confidence and drawing lines for self empowerment is a choice, not a rule or a talent. God wouldn’t come down from heaven and tell you – “George, you may now have the permission to build self confidence and empower yourself.”
In life, it’s difficult to stay resolute when things and people around you keep pulling you down. When you get to the battlefield, choose the right weapons to bring and armors to use, and pick those that are bullet proof. Life gives us many options. Along the battle, you will get hit and bruised. And wearing a bulletproof armor ideally means ‘self change’. The kind of change which comes from within.
Voluntarily. Armor or self change affects 3 things: your attitude, your behavior,
and your way of thinking.
Building self confidence will eventually lead to self empowerment if you start to become responsible for who you are, what you have, and what you do. It is like a flame that gradually spreads like a brush fire from the inside outwards. When you develop self confidence, you take control of your mission, values and discipline. Self confidence brings about self empowerment, true assessment, and determination. So how do you start building your foundation of self confidence?
Be positive. Be contented and happy. Never miss an opportunity to show gratitude. A positive way of living will help you build self confidence, your starter guide to self empowerment.
-Excerpt from Self Empowerment Guidebook by Chris Cade (pages 20 – 22)
