FIRST IMPRESSION

By Henrik Edberg

http://www.positivityblog.com/

Everyone stereotypes everyone on first impression, even if we are reluctant to do it.

We all get a first impression of a new person that creates a mental image of his or her personality in our minds.

 

That image of you often lasts and can affect the relationship that follows.

 

Another thing is that we often play different roles in relationships. With our parents we play one role, with friends another, with someone we are interested in/in love with a third, when shopping for clothes in a store a fourth. And so on.

 

A good or great first impression can create a positive role in the minds of the new people we meet. When we meet them again, we are often drawn back into this role. Sometimes it happens almost unconsciously until you after a few minutes notice that you have fallen into your old role - like when you meet friends you haven't seen in years - in that dynamic once again. You may not always be drawn into that role. But if you do it sure is better to have a positive than a negative role saved for you.

 

Here are some of the things I've learned about improving first impressions. Of course, different environments like business meetings with suits and ties or parties with colourful drinks come with different goals and expectations. So figure out what's appropriate and useful in each meeting.

1. Don't think too much.

 

First, perhaps the most important tip: don't think too much. This will help you let the conversation flow easily and you won't become self conscious and nervous. Try, as much as possible, to stay focused on the people you are talking to rather than focusing on yourself.

2. Act as if you are meeting a good friend.

 

If you just imagine that the person you will met/have just met and are talking to is one of your best friends you'll probably adjust unconsciously and start to smile, open up your body language to a very friendly and warm position and reduce any nervousness or weirdness in your tone of voice and body language. This technique is also a great help to stop over-thinking and it puts you in the present moment again. Don't overdo it though, you might not want to hug and kiss right away.

The nice thing about this is that you may also start to feel positive feelings towards this new person, just as you do with your friend when you meet him/her. This is a pretty good starting point for getting them to reciprocate and for developing a good relationship.

 

3. Stand and sit up straight.

 

Keeping a good but relaxed posture certainly improves on the impression one makes. Don't slouch. Sit or stand up straight.

 

4. Be positive.

 

Sometimes you can go in all positive in a first meeting. Sometimes it may not be the best approach to go in too positive as it can be seen as bit abrasive or feel like a bit too much for the other person. A better way to convey a positive attitude in a first meeting can then be to read the mood of person(s) before you start talking - by just watching them - and then match it for a short while. Then - when you have an emotional connection - you can let your positivity arise a bit more.

 

Regardless if you start out positive from the get-go or a short while into the meeting, be sure to positive. If you, for instance, start a first meeting by complaining, there's a big chance the people you meet will mentally label you as a complainer or a negative person.

 

5. Mentally rehearse before you even enter the room.

 

Visualize how great the events will unfold - see and hear it - and also how great will you feel at this meeting.

 

See yourself smiling, being positive, open and having a great time. See the excellent outcome in your mind. Then release by visualizing that it has already happened, that the meeting is over with the desired result. This is surprisingly effective and will get you into a great and relaxed mood before even stepping into the first, second or twentieth meeting.

You may want to not think much at all (tip #1) or act as if you are meeting a good friend (tip #2) or use a positive mental rehearsal before a meeting. Try them all and see which one - or combination - that works best for you.

 

6. The words you use to start the conversation with aren't always that important.

 

As long as you use some of the tips above it will usually not really matter too much what word or phrase you use to start the conversation. The words are only 7 percent of your communication. 93 percent is in your tone of voice and your body language. Sure, those numbers - that comes from a study that psychologist Albert Mehrabian did - may not always be completely accurate in a conversation.

 

But the point is; don't over-think things. A simple "Hi!" backed up by a relaxed and confident smile may do just fine.

WE ARE ALL SALESMEN!

WE ARE ALL SALESMEN

But we ARE, whether we are aware of this fact or not.

From the moment we cried our lungs out from the cradle asking for milk till the last time you asked your secretary to type a letter for you a moment ago, we have been selling.

In short, selling is getting others to give us or do what we want.  We have always been doing this all our life and some of us can be very resourceful and innovative.  There are several effective selling is done.  Among them is through advertising either visually (as shown in TV spots, cinema, or magazines) or by writing which is usually referred to as “copywriting” .

Find below  an article written by Dean Rieck on a copywriter's guide to consumer psychology.  Mr. Rieck wrote:

A copywriter’s guide to consumer psychology

January 11, 2010 by Dean Rieck
Filed under: Psychology 

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Copywriting is less about writing than it is about psychology.

You can be a great writer, but if you know little about how people think, you won’t succeed as a copywriter. On the other hand, you can be only a fair writer, and if you have a deep understanding of the human mind, you could do very well as a copywriter.

People can be pretty hard to figure out sometimes. Even though I’m a lifelong student of human behavior, I still can’t figure out why the young bagger at the grocery puts two dozen cans in a single bag but just one bunch of celery in another.

So providing guidance on something as complicated as consumer psychology is a little tricky. But there are a few things I’ve learned over the years that shape the way I write copy when my job is to motivate, persuade, and sell.

Here are 8 of them:

People make decisions emotionally. They decide quickly, based on a feeling, need, or emotion. Usually, therefore, intangible benefits are the key to persuasion. Even for offer-driven promotions and business-to-business marketing, there is an emotional core to every decision. Always ask yourself, “What is the emotional hot button here?”

People justify decisions with reason. Example: A woman sees a dress in a catalog and instantly wants it. But she hesitates because it’s so expensive. However, the copy provides details on the quality of the fabric, the close stitching, and how buying the dress is an investment. This justification allows her to act on her emotional impulse.

The lesson? Give people reasons to help them justify a purchase.

Another example: I know a guy who bought a huge backhoe because he needed to dig one hole in his back yard. He went on for an hour reciting his reasons for owning this mammoth machine instead of just renting it. Pure justification.

People put off making decisions. Psychology and sales experience reveal two interesting facts: 1) The longer a decision is postponed, the more likely a decision will never be made. 2) The sooner you can provoke a decision, the more likely it is to be in your favor.

This is why you should simplify the decision-making process in every promotion and force a quick response whenever possible. Specific deadlines are particularly powerful.

People are egocentric. Not “egotistic,” but “egocentric.” That means centered on the ego or self. Anytime you ask someone to do something, you must answer that person’s unstated question, “What’s in it for me?”

On a deeper level, the question might be, “How does this give me feelings of personal worth?” We all see the world and everything in it in terms of how it relates to us personally. That’s why features must be translated into benefits.

People are unpredictable. Even those of us who ponder consumer psychology can never predict with any certainty how people will act in a real-world situation. The equation is just too complex. You can formulate hypotheses about why people do what they do. You can ask people what they think and like. But in the end, you never know how people will respond to your copy until they read it.

As a copywriter, you must be willing to put preconceived notions aside and trust the results of testing. You might think you know the right answer, but customers will always tell you what works and what doesn’t through their actions. Listen to them.

People seek fulfillment. Love. Wealth. Glory. Comfort. Safety. People are naturally dissatisfied and spend their lives searching for intangibles. At its simplest, copywriting is a matter of showing people how a particular product or service fulfills one or more of their needs.

But remember that motivations always have deeper motivations. You seek wealth for security. You seek security because you fear change. You fear change because … well, you get the idea.

People usually follow the crowd. We look to others for guidance, especially when we are uncertain about something. We tacitly ask, “What do others think about this? What do others feel? What do others do?” Then we act accordingly.

A related concept is what is called the “Bandwagon Effect.” When lots of people do something, that thing becomes more than acceptable and, in fact, becomes desirable. This is one reason why testimonials and case histories are so influential.

People fear loss. In general, the fear of loss is more powerful than the hope of gain. And this fear includes (1) losing something you have and (2) losing the chance to have something you want. By properly manipulating the instinct to avoid loss, you can trigger a favorable response to your offer. But don’t turn every appeal into fear. Fear is powerful, but tricky. A positive approach is usually easier to pull off.

There’s a lot more to consumer psychology than this. But these 8 ideas can take you a long way.

If you want to truly master copywriting, there is no better field of study than human psychology.

The Law of Attraction – What It Really Is and What It Isn't

It is somewhat amazing to see how much talk there is about the Law of Attraction and how few people actually know about what it is. The Law of Attraction is not a spell that you use and things begin happening that way. It is not that you chant ‘like begets like’ a thousand times a day and see things happening the way you want. If the Law of Attraction were so simple, we would have already witnessed the world as a much better place by now.

People explain the Law of Attraction in various ways. The commonest definition

you will find will be something like this:- “If you strongly believe that something should happen, it will certainly happen.”

A sentence couldn’t be any simpler, but you will immediately realize that this raises more questions than it answers. The question of desires is the most important. Is it only what we desire and think about strongly that will happen? Or will things that we don’t desire also happen if we somehow think strongly about them? Then there is also the question of internal conflict of thoughts. At times, there could be situations where we think equally in both ways. For example, we may think that a job could be ours or not. So how do we apply the Law of Attraction in such a case? Or what do we do when we are thinking strongly about something and someone else is thinking strongly about the exact opposite thing? What will happen in that case?

In order to be able to reply all these questions, it is important to first understand what the Law of Attraction really says.

Notwithstanding the various ways in which the Law of Attraction has been

defined, we can break things down in the following four elements:-

® We must know exactly what we want.

® We must begin a thought process for it, and begin vociferously asking the universe to make it happen.

® We must then visualize a situation wherein we already have what we are hankering for, and we must live in that reality.

® At the same time, we must not attach ourselves to what might happen. We must only think about having it. There is no room for apprehension.

Building Your Self Confidence

So how do you stay calm, composed and maintain self confidence in a tough environment? Here are some tips you may to consider as a starter guide to empowerment.

Imagine yourself as a Dart Board. Everything and everyone else around you may become dart pins, at one point or another. These dart pins will destroy your self confidence and pull you down in ways you often aren't even aware of. Don’t let them destroy you, or get the best of you. So which dart pins should you avoid?

Dart Pin #1 : Negative Work Environment

Beware of “dog eat dog” theory where everyone else is fighting just to get ahead. This is where non-appreciative people usually thrive. No one will appreciate your contributions even if you miss lunch and dinner, and stay up late to complete your tasks or go the extra mile. Most of the time you get to work too much without getting help from people concerned. Stay out of this environment because it will damage your self confidence. If you are in a situation like this then remember that there are other jobs out there which will not threaten your emotional stability—don't make excuses to keep your existing job.

Find a new one!

Dart Pin #2: Other People’s Behavior

Bulldozers, brown nosers, gossipmongers, whiners, backstabbers, snipers, people walking wounded, controllers, naggers, complainers, exploders, patronizers… all these kinds of people will pose bad vibes for your self confidence, as well as to your self empowerment journey. Just because a friend has been in your life forever does not necessarily mean he is a good friend. Be willing to cut ties with those people who do not

reinforce the positive life you want to live and support you in your choice to succeed.

Dart Pin #3: Resistance to Change

Changes challenge our paradigms. It tests our flexibility, adaptability and alters the way we think. Changes may make life difficult for awhile and cause stress, but it also provides opportunities to empower ourselves. There's a classic quote, “The only thing constant in life is change.” Change will happen. It's always happening. Accept change and learn to work with it, and you will succeed in everything and be happy while doing

it. Resist change, and you will find yourself unhappy.

Dart Pin #4: Projecting Your Past Experiences Onto the Present

It’s okay to cry and say “ouch!” when we experience pain. But don’t let pain transform itself into fear. It might grab you by the tail and swing you around. Treat each failure and mistake as a lesson. Just because you have been severely hurt in the past by your exes, does not mean that your current partner will devastate you too. You have the choice to look at each moment as a fresh new opportunity, so don't hold onto the past and let it jade you from seeing the greatness in life.

Dart Pin #5: Negative World View

Look at what you’re looking at. Don’t wrap yourself up with all the negativities of the world. In building self confidence, we must learn how to make the best out of worst situations while not absorbing the energy of negative situations. Try taking a break from news and TV for a couple of days and see how much extra energy you feel.

Dart Pin #6: Determination Theory

The way you are and your behavioral traits is said to be a mixed end product of your inherited genetics, and your environmental surroundings such as your spouse, the company, the economy or your circle of friends. You have your own identity. If your father is a failure, it doesn’t mean you have to be a failure too. Learn from other people’s experience, so you’ll never have to encounter the same mistakes.

Sometimes, you may want to wonder if some people are born leaders or positive thinkers. NO. Being positive, and staying positive is a choice. Building self

confidence and drawing lines for self empowerment is a choice, not a rule or a talent. God wouldn’t come down from heaven and tell you – “George, you may now have the permission to build self confidence and empower yourself.”

In life, it’s difficult to stay resolute when things and people around you keep pulling you down. When you get to the battlefield, choose the right weapons to bring and armors to use, and pick those that are bullet proof. Life gives us many options. Along the battle, you will get hit and bruised. And wearing a bulletproof armor ideally means ‘self change’. The kind of change which comes from within.

Voluntarily. Armor or self change affects 3 things: your attitude, your behavior,

and your way of thinking.

Building self confidence will eventually lead to self empowerment if you start to become responsible for who you are, what you have, and what you do. It is like a flame that gradually spreads like a brush fire from the inside outwards. When you develop self confidence, you take control of your mission, values and discipline. Self confidence brings about self empowerment, true assessment, and determination. So how do you start building your foundation of self confidence?

Be positive. Be contented and happy. Never miss an opportunity to show gratitude. A positive way of living will help you build self confidence, your starter guide to self empowerment.

-Excerpt from Self Empowerment Guidebook by Chris Cade (pages 20 – 22)

SELF EMPOWERMENT AND SUCCESS

Everything that happens to us happens with purpose, and sometimes, one thing leads to another. Instead of locking yourself up in a cage of fear and crying over past heartaches, embarrassment and failures, treat these situations as your teachers and they will become your tools in both self empowerment and success.

When does self empowerment become synonymous with success? Where do

we start? Take these tips:

· Stop thinking and feeling as if you’re a failure, because you’re not!

How can others accept you if YOU can’t accept YOU?

· When you see others who you envy for any reason (beauty, wealth, etc), focus on your own self empowerment, not self pitying.

Self-acceptance is not about how you fit into other peoples' idea of the world, it is about accepting yourself in the world regardless of how others view you.

· When people feel down and low about themselves, help them up.

Rather than join others in feeling low, choose to help them out through leading by example. The more you radiate confidence, the more others will also feel and start to absorb that confidence themselves.

· The world is your classroom.

Don’t feel stupid or doomed forever just because you made a mistake or “failed” at something. See how your experience is a lesson to learn from. Everything has a silver lining—no exceptions.

· Take things one step at a time.

Don't expect massive changes overnight. Self empowerment is a process of taking lots of small steps that ultimately add up to something amazingly beautiful and profound.

· Self empowerment results in inner stability, personality development and SUCCESS.

It comes from self-confidence, self appreciation and self confidence.

· Set meaningful and achievable goals.

Self empowerment doesn’t try to make you an exact replica of your idols or role models. Self empowerment is the process by which you dissolve all of the false ideas you've adopted over the years, and you learn to see yourself for the amazing person you already are.

· Little things mean a LOT to other people.

Sometimes, we don’t realize that the little things that we do like a pat on the back, saying “Hi” or asking somebody “How are you?” are simple things that mean so much to other people. When we are appreciative and grateful of all that is around us, it eventually reflects back inwardly and we become more appreciative and grateful for who we are and our experience here on Earth.

· Even though you’re willing to accept change and go through the process of self empowerment, it doesn’t mean that everyone else is.

The world is a place where people of different values and attitudes hang out. Sometimes, even if you think you and your best friend always like to do the same thing together at the same time, be aware that not everybody realizes the value of a path of self empowerment.

We should always remember that there’s no such thing as ‘overnight success’. Be grateful for every moment of your life which has brought you to this moment here and now. You have probably heard the classic quote, “When the student is ready, the teacher will appear.”

We are all here to learn our lessons. Our parents, school teachers, friends, colleagues, officemates, neighbors… they are our teachers. When we open our heart and mind to a path of self empowerment, we increase our chances of happiness, success, and lasting inner peace.

-Excerpt from Self Empowerment Guidebook by Chris Cade (Pages 4 – 6)